Philip Robert

It's 6:10AM as I drive through one of the coolest towns in the country, Moab, Utah. I'm looking for a coffee shop where I can plug into the internet and enjoy a cup of java. There's a police vehicle behind me, but I'm not worried. There is plenty of light, I'm driving about 3 miles under the speed limit, and there's not much traffic. Coming to the end of town I want to turn around and head back the other way. I begin to turn right onto a side street, hit my blinker, and notice that the police car follows me.

I make a left turn into a laundry mat parking lot, pull up, and stop for a moment as if I'm looking at a map. The police car turns into the next door Burger King and pulls up to the drive up lane. I turn around and pull out onto the street headed towards Main street.

Uh-oH! Johnny Law zips out of Burger King with his lights and siren popping. ??? Lets see what he's looking for, I stop. The loudspeaker says to pull over. No problem. Sherif's Deputy W. Stone walks up and informs me that I'm being stopped because of a late turn signal and you look confused. OF COURSE I'M CONFUSED! I've never been to Moab before and I don't know where the coffee shops are. Barney Fife I mean Deputy Stone asks for the usual, drivers license, insurance, registration, and begins grilling interrogating me about where I'm from, where I'm going, what I'm doing.

With all the traveling I've been doing I was having fun.

Deputy Stone: Where're you headed?

Me: Fayetteville, Arkansas

Deputy Stone: Do you live in Fayetteville?

Me: No Sir, my hometown's in Louisiana, but I've been living in Los Angeles for awhile.

Deputy Stone: So where you coming from?

Me: Bend, Oregon

Deputy Stone: I thought you said you lived in Los Angeles.

Me: Yes Sir.

Deputy Stone: But you said you lived in Los Angeles.

Me: Yes Sir, but I'm coming from Bend, Oregon

Deputy Stone: What're doing in Moab?

Me: Right now I'm looking for a coffee shop. (now Deputy Stone gives me a look...)

Deputy Stone: And you live in Arkansas?

Me: No Sir my hometown is in Louisiana, I'm headed to Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Deputy Stone: Oh Right, there's a coffee shop in McStiff's Plaza, drive careful now.

At Mondo coffee the girl behind the counter told me that Deputy Stone is the local hardass. I guess, he must've been bored when he caught site of my California plates. I was particularly intrigued by the way he kept trying to catch me up in a lie. I wonder what he would've done then? Would I be looking out from the inside of a Moab jail cell? Who knows.